Omae wo ore no hikari
by Fallen angel named Alan
Summary: Okay it's a songfic about Riku who just wants to dream about his love. Um, it's not really that angsty or romantic and I only rated it because I said damn a couple a times. slight shounen ai hints


Um okay, I am very scared right now. This is two firsts for me, my first songfic and my first kingdom hearts fic and I'm getting nervous about it. Sorry if it sucks but I had to get this out of my system.  
  
Disclaimer; I do not own Kingdom Hearts or Imaginary by Evanescence The word in the are the lyrics.  
  
  
  
It was morning but the light was very unwelcome for one person. Brazen uninvited sunlight came to press against his limp body shaking him rudely awake. Slowly, painfully Riku opened his eyes to stare dully at the ceiling above him. For a moment he hesitated at the threshold of sleep and wakefulness, not wanting to face the world.  
  
Soft thoughts of sleep shattered at the agonized scream of his clock, shrill shrieks of intolerable pain.  
  
I linger in the doorway  
  
Of alarm clock screaming  
  
Monsters calling my name  
  
Snarling savagely Riku seized the little piece of tech and ended it's suffering, smashing it as hard as he could against the corner of his bedside table. One hand ran through his hair making the silver silk arch in strange ways. Goddamned bed head.  
  
Reality called for him, tried to take him back into its hold but he shied away from it. Please just let him sleep.  
  
Once more he fell back to lay prone and stare at the blank canvas of plaster resting above him. Right now he hated white. Hate welled up inside of him and he wanted to do something, to change the monotonous pattern that washed around him, so familiar, so despised. But lacking that he just wanted to sleep a little more. Never mind that he had slept for almost twelve hours already, he just wanted to continue dreaming. Sometimes dreams are better than reality.  
  
Let me stay  
  
Where the wind will whisper to me  
  
Soft breezes found their way past the flung open window and ripped open curtains to brush against his cheek, ruffling his hair. For a moment he let himself relax, to dream that it wasn't just the wind caressing his cheek but the person he longed for and would never have. Maybe, maybe if he just stayed in bed and held very still he could dream hard enough to make it seem real.  
  
True, it would never be real, but if it could just seem to be for a short amount of time...Riku sighed softly, imagining himself turning his head to brush against inviting fingers moving in gentle pattern along his jaw line, up his cheek to curl in his hair possessively. A quiet sound of pleasure escaped his lips as his love bent and claimed his mouth in a chaste soft kiss.  
  
Aqua eyes opened to smile hazily at the one above him as he whispered huskily, "I love you..."  
  
Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story  
  
Rainy splashes caught his ear, muttering little things of no importance that he was drawn to listen to anyway. Tiny tears gathered at the edge of an aqua pool and fell in mimicry of the rain dribbling past his window. "I love you..." Again he muttered the words and again there was no response, but what could he expect? Nothing had changed; he was still in bed, still alone.  
  
It was too late, he was too awake right now to slip back into the longed for sleep. Reluctantly Riku got out of bed and went to his dresser to pull on a shirt. After a moment he shifted the other articles aside to fish out a very worn, very secret notebook. With the near sacred book in his hand he went back to bed, lying on his stomach with the bedding pulled over his head as he opened it to a new page and started writing.  
  
Soon there were several pages ripped out and crumbled in macabre parodies of what they once were. Riku lay still for a moment; chin on his arms under the violet sheet that billowed with the wind and just stared at the paper for a while. Would he ever get this right?  
  
In my field of paper flowers  
  
And candy clouds of lullaby  
  
Again his imagination drifted to think of sweet full lips smiling at him, soft spikes of hair blowing across them gently as he was lulled to sleep by the feeling of being loved. That smile was better than candy. Hmm, if the person he longed for was candy then he was a diabetic because he could never ever have it. Riku smiled sadly at the paper he had been working on and tore it too from the notebook to crumple it into a sloppy flower and drop it to join the others that were starting to grow in a pile around him.  
  
It was hopeless. With a sound of paper rustling he rolled over and held the sheet tight over his head to block out the detestable white ceiling. The breeze filtered through it like it was nothing, catching enough in the material to make it move gently.  
  
I lie inside myself for hours  
  
And watch my purple sky fly over me  
  
How many times had he done this? Laid in bed listening to the rain and daydreamed about impossible things. It felt good though, to for a moment exist just here in a carpet of paper beneath his sheets, dreaming. He liked sleep more than being awake, if he had a choice he would never wake up.  
  
Minutes, hours ticked by unnoticed by him, a forgotten dreamer gazing into a sky of his own making. His sky...  
  
Riku chuckled at the thought. My sky, I like that. But what would "my sky" think of to hear me say that? Probably would never come near me again.  
  
...I hate being in love...  
  
Hours later Riku gave up to the complaints of his stomach and left his haven. It was still raining so after he got food he couldn't go to the beach to talk to everyone; he had to settle with curling on the couch and flipping channels.  
  
Don't say I'm out of touch  
  
With this rampant chaos, your reality  
  
There was nothing good on, just news and soap operas. Riku paused at one news report talking about acts of terrorism and changed the channel only to find another detailing the murder of three girls his age. With a grimace he kept flipping until all the shows blurred together in little snippets of color and sound, he didn't want to pause long enough for something to make sense.  
  
Finally he just turned it off and ran back into his room, shutting his door on the world.  
  
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge  
  
The nightmare I built my own world to escape  
  
Instead of getting back in bed he pulled a blanket off and wrapped it around his legs as he settled on the floor by it. For a while he stared at the blank paper before starting fresh, trying to compose everything he felt into a single simple letter of confession.  
  
When he dragged the blanket down several of paper balls had followed and now they chased each other around his feet.  
  
In my field of paper flowers  
  
And candy clouds of lullaby  
  
Maybe, should he write about how light he felt when they were together? How those large blue eyes lifted him up with a glance and made him exceed his limits? The way it made him feel sweet and airy, like he didn't exist and it was all right.  
  
Why was he bothering? He would never find the write words and even if he did he would never give the letter away, there was a friendship to be lost here.  
  
Riku put aside his notebook and pencil to curl up with his chin on his knees, trying to hug away the cold. Once again he tugged his sheets over him but they did nothing. The chill he felt was in his heart and only one person could touch it. And he never would.  
  
I lie inside myself for hours  
  
And watch my purple sky fly over me  
  
For a long time he sat there, not dreaming this time, just thinking round about thoughts that did no one any good. And everything seemed to loop back to one thing, one person. His sky, his love, his dream.  
  
Swallowed up by the sound of my screaming  
  
Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights  
  
With a growl Riku seized his pillow, buried his face into it and started screaming in frustration with all his might. "I love you! Why don't you see that? I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!" For a long time he kept screaming into the fabric, trying to relieve himself of the pain inside and a little afraid to stop to be left alone in the quiet house again. But eventually his voice quit on him and the silence wrapped around him like another blanket, only sounds of raining breaking through the cotton air.  
  
Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming  
  
Riku weakly crawled back into his bed, dragging the blankets and notebook with him. Life hurt so much. He just wanted to sleep and escape his pain, to dream of a happily ever after. Of his love, his sky.  
  
The god of imaginary light  
  
After a moment he opened the book to a fresh piece and scrawled a message quickly before tearing it out and crumpling it like the others. Instead of dropping it to the ground with the others he threw it, angry and not caring that it went out his window.  
  
The little ball of paper was caught by the wind and taken a ways away to the beach where it finally landed, too heavy with rain to continue it's flight. Slowly it uncurled to reveal its message to the crying sky and anyone who would pause in a downpour to read a piece of scrap paper.  
  
-Sora  
  
Omae wa ore no hikari  
  
You are my light  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Well? Please review if you feel like and I'm sorry about how bad this was. Um one last thing I'd like to clarify, Sora means sky and Riku means earth, that's what the whole my sky thingy was about.well then bye! runs away before someone hurts him for this terrible fic


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